It’s that time of year again.

That time, toward the end of July, when I wish I could just fast-forward to August 18 when the Fall Semester starts.  The time until then is so stressful because it holds so many unknowns:  I am not sure how many students will enroll this fall; I don’t yet have the schedules of the ones who will enroll; many parents do not yet have a schedule because especially sports don’t get scheduled until school starts. 

Of course I want the best schedule for everyone – their favorite time, siblings together, conveniently together of course, and so on.  I’ve been bugging Mark to see if there’s some kind of software to help with the scheduling but there are so many variables (on my part) that it just wouldn’t work.  There is scheduling software available, commercially – I googled – but most of them put the scheduling into the parents’ hands.  As much as parents may think that it should be either first-come-first-serve or work by some sort of seniority – that’s not how I schedule.  I want to pick and choose and reconsider and change until I feel that the schedule fits everyone, me included, as perfectly as possible.

In addition to the stress of the unknown, it’s been hot.  Hot and humid and miserable.  Yesterday was the first day in I can’t remember how long that Mark and I were able to ride our bikes.  Well, enjoy to ride our bikes. 

Hot means that we run the a/c which means that in regular intervals there is the noise from the blower (fan?) which is particularly noticeable at night.  We don’t sleep well. 

On top of everything else, I am going back to Germany the first two weeks in August, for the fifth time this year, this time to finalize the closing of my mother’s apartment.  She lived in that apartment for 37 years, I grew up in it.  Several years ago, when my mother and I discussed end-of-life issues and how she would like me to deal with things after her death (we had no idea that she would die so soon), I had already asked her to make sure her landlord knew that I would want to hold on to the apartment for a while after.  The idea of her dying and my having to close the apartment right away was unbearable.  She understood and accepted.  I found among her many many handwritten notes one she had written to herself, to that effect.

I am so very fortunate to have had Mark’s understanding and support with this.  One week after I arrive in Germany in August, it will have been exactly six months since her death.  She herself hadn’t been home in her apartment since about October or November when she left for what was meant to be her over-winter vacation in Turkey. 

It’ll be trying, and I expect emotional upheaval. 

Strangely, and this may be some weird survival technique, I don’t expect the stress from the preparations for the Fall Semester and the stress from the closing of my mother’s apartment to compound each other. On the contrary.  (And this is where it gets weird.)  I am good at completely focusing on one thing, by pushing other things aside.

I am already organizing, long-distance from here in the States, the apartment closing; and I will be working, long-distance, on the Fall Semester scheduling while in Germany.   When the stress from the piano preparations gets too much, I can take a break and take care of my mother’s apartment.  And the other way around.  Use either as a distraction from the other. 

I’ll be glad when it’s August 18.